Adventures Of Bee مغامرات النحلة الجبارة

GIVE IT TO ME...GIVE IT TO ME NOW...

As I screamed, begged, and moaned for hours...madness, rage, and sadness took turns at me... the pain in my core was unbearable, a ball of fire-spitting blades was spinning around and around in my bowels...cold and heat waves shot through me like spears. My insides were violently thrust out, again and again and again...the touch of any other human would sear into my flesh like a dark mage's hand...I could not tolerate anyone laying a finger on me...not even my mother's gentle hand trying to dry the pearling sweat on my forehead...I was blind, my sight hindered by burning tears..blurred figures hovered over me, Nadine's and mom's were the most present, compassionate and patient...still there was no comfort for my contorted soul...agony spoke in my tongue, curses, prayers, calls for Allah, Lucifer , those bitchy nurses, that nice nice doctor, flew around the emergency hallway like darts...at the only hospital where we could find a bed at midnight, BAHMAN in Haret Hreik!!!

GIVE IT TO MEEEEEEE!!!

I knew, there and then, in that stinky grey blue booth in the emergeny service, under that white ashen light: Death, that tender merciful relief awaits...

Six hours earlier, on that fall afternoon in Costa cafe, I had spent hours with Nadine, sipping on some creamy coffee, watching passers-by stroll along store windows, crazy drivers making the pride of Lebanese streets, shoppers of all shapes and attires, madmen, mediocre geniouses, sluts, cigar smokers, intellectuals of all levels of intellect...all that colorful, disparate crowd in the glorious Hamra street...

I've had such stomach aches in the past, as I'm quite sensitive to the cold...It was November, and Nadine had decided to stay in Lebanon longer than hubby, David, who returned to France, to spend more time with her family...a decision that turned out to my benefit..

That November, I was miserable, waiting for December to leave Lebanon and my past life, hop into another one, to a new country...not too far though...Cyprus, was my resort...so it was my period of goodbyes, excesses of everything, and stocking up on images, tastes and smells as my emotional luggage for the year to come.

A mere sting started whirling under my sternum. DAMN, I caught a cold again...that creeping autumn chill!!

..the pain took over, cheating me to my suffering - it'll be another of those stomach aches that a hot aniseed brew (or warm cognac) will vanquish in a blink, I carelessly thought to myself.

Not until after hours -eight to be accurate- and loads of useless painkillers and traditional remedies, that my flesh was delightfully torn by that long-awaited, clement thin needle, that penetrated my entire being.

At last...Morphine...

...As soothing darkness caressed  my eyes, warmth seeped through my veins...I was transferred to another floor, a broken, exhausted curled up carcass on a metal bed...

That was the happy day when I gained a new scar, but spit out another wretched part of me: an appendix at the brink of catastrophe...and a last link to Lebanon.